Tricowinc

Moths

noreply@blogger.com (Tyler) — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 00:39:00 +0000

If moths fly to the lights at night,
does that mean that during the day they fly at the sun?

A Few Albums I found

noreply@blogger.com (King Pin) — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 02:52:00 +0000

Recently I've been raiding my brothers old CD collection in our basement. I have found a few goodies in there, and here I am to share them with you.

1. Plea For Peace, this is a "Punk Rock Sampler Benefiting PFP"
Now this album is a compilation of many different bands, varying in nature. Most of the songs are good, and there is even a ska/punk song on the record. It contains 30 tracks so it is hard to get a good feel of the record as a whole, but here goes: This record, although odd in some parts, does possess an enticing nature about it. There are many up beat songs, and for a person like me whose mood gets affected easily by music this is a beam of sunlight in the darkness that is some dream theatre songs, and perhaps more so Death and that one song by the Decemberists. Anyways, I don’t like being depressed, SO! NEXT!

2. Letters From Chutney by the Rainbow Butt Monkeys
Now first of all, this name is a bit odd, however it gave me a certain eagerness to listen to this album, and I was presently surprised. This one is a metalistic album by a bunch of Canadian Kids from the Burlington area, it does have some good tunes and you may even enjoy it more if you want a blast from the past. Wouldn’t you know it that these guys that grew up to become Finger Eleven, well with a drummer change I believe. ENOUGH SAID.

3. Last Splash by The Breeders
These guys, I find are similar to the New Pornographers, but with a less modern sound and a more Rockish feel. They lack that something special, an edge perhaps, but all in all the record is okay, there are insightful lyrics and a couple catchy tunes. NEXT!

4. Kaleidoscope by DJ Food
Okay I’m just going to say it, this sucks, the rhythms are too…. Well fucked up at times. There are a couple of tolerable songs on this CD, but barely. Their sound has been described as Jazz/Hip hop, or even Dance/Electronica. Once more this CD…. Well it sucks! So no more, NEXT!

5. Feeling Strangely Fine by Semisonic.
These guys are Nirvana meets Presidents of the United States meets some soft rock group. I actually like this album contrary to the soft rockness, they actually have some good grooves. But this record is no reason to jump for joy, or whatever it is that people do when they hear good music, perhaps dance. Anyways I think that that sums this album up effectively. NEXT

6. When I was Born For The Seventh Time by Cornershop
These guys that formed this band are from the UK, but have roots in India, and their music reflects this. It has been described as a mix of several genres: British indie rock, dance/Electronica, and of course the Indian music. This is a mediocre record and doesn’t demand much attention, it doesn’t have any….. flavour really, well in some songs anyways. I mean I almost fell asleep while listening to it… and now I’m really tired, so this is all the recordz that I will talk about for now…….

In conclusion I long for the days when people would go to the record store and listen to tunes and hang out, but I mean who has the cash to buy records these days….. TORRENT DOWNLOADING FTW!!!!!!
Remember to share your music, because good music can make the world go round….Like a Dick!

Humour 101

noreply@blogger.com (Lucas) — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 04:24:00 +0000

"America is the greatest, best country that God gave to the face of this earth" - Sean Hannity

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh man! This guy is funny!

Wait, what? Oh, he's...he's what? Being serious?

Oh geez.

Whoops...

The Man Who Never Spoke (A Short Story)

noreply@blogger.com (Lucas) — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 22:08:00 +0000

The heel of his boot made a loud crunching noise in the soft haze of midday. Tiny orange pebbles scattered from beneath the leather boot, and made small trails of dust as they danced off into the heat. He inhaled quickly through his nostrils. The air was so thick you could wrap yourself in it.
The Man scratched at his leg and squinted into the swirly horizon; a swaying brown spot, about a mile off, told him that he was close. His dry tongue rolled over the thin, cracked lips that sat squarely in his sharp face. The Man continued steadily towards his goal.

"Fitzgerald!"
"Yeah, Dan?"
"F-Fitzgerald!"
"Yeah, Dan, I'm here. What can I do ya for?"
"Another shot of whiskey, Fitzy!"
"I think yer drunk enough, Dan."
"Wha...but I'm yer best customer!"
"That may be true Dan, but every man's got a limit."
"Bah! Yer just yellah, that's all."
"I ain't yellah. Now get a move on before I gotta go over there and make ya move!"
Dan stumbled out of the saloon, informing those around him that he would never spend his hard earned cash at a dive like this, as he usually did ever Friday. On his way across the dusty road to his apartment, he passed out in the street.
Dan woke up a couple minutes later, with a swift smack in the face. The Man was kneeling over top of him with a concerned look in his eye.
"Y-your back?" asked Dan.
The Man nodded.
"Are y-you here f-for..." stuttered Dan.
The Man nodded again.
"And you've come to get Sally?"
The Man nodded a third time.
"And your going to..."
The Man stood up with Dan and dragged him to an alley. He mimed out to Dan that he needed water.
"Water? Yeah, I got water back at my place!"
The two of them walked down the shady side of main street and entered the door to Dan's apartment. A short climb of the stairs led them to Dan's dark apartment.
"I'll be right back with that water," called Dan as he crossed the filthy carpet to a door that probably led to a kitchen.
The Man's eyes traveled around the room. He picked out every detail, the way the light through the blinds made thin beams of dust, how the ceiling fan made the slightest of a wooshing noise, as it slowly spun its endless path.
"Here ya go!"
The Man drank greedily, little rivulets of water rolled down his stubbly chin and snaked into his open shirt. Dan eyed the shining revolver hanging at the Man's side. His eyes darted from the gun to the Man's face.
"Whatcha starin' at Dan?" asked The Man.
"Woah, nothin', I, uh, I didn't think you talked much," stammered Dan.
"I don't, only when it's necessary."
"I meant nothin' by it, I was just s'prised by what you got on yer belt."
"That is also only used when necessary." replied the Man as he set the glass down on a dusty table.
"So tell me Dan, where is Joe?"
"I thought you talked only when necessary."
The Man's hand snaked up to the wooden, carved handle of his revolver.
"Woah, hey, he's up at the big ol' house down the road there." yelped Dan.
"And Sally?"
"...I'm sorry, but...she's there too."
"It doesn't matter, Dan," said the Man, as he turned out of the room and started down the stairs. "Nothing matters." The Man slammed the door behind him, leaving Dan alone in the hazy appartment.
"Well, he's back alright, and this town's got hell to pay." muttered Dan. "Hell to pay for what Joe's done."

"Woman! WOMAN!" screamed the chef.
"Yes, yes, sorry I'm here," said Sally, rushing into the kitchen.
"Look at this recipe."
"Okay."
"Mmmmhmm."
"What?" asked Sally.
"Look!"
"I am!"
"Make it," breathed the chef, with a flourish of his hands. Striking a strange pose that was meant to be impressive, but with sheer size of the chef, made it look more grotesque than awe-inspiring. The chef breathed slowly through his nose, making strange rushing noise as the air flitted through the hairs in his nostrils.
"I-I can't!"
"And why not?"
"I..."
"TELL ME!"
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THESE CHEESES MEAN!" screamed Sally, as she ran from the kitchen.
Sally had been living in the mansion with Joe for three years now. Ever since the Man left, Sally had never been the same. Joe convinced the townspeople that she needed an older man to guide her from her past, and he was the best to do it. The mansion was not a home for Sally, it was a prison.
Sally ran up to her room and thrust herself upon her bed. Tears streamed down her face, tears of longing for her love, of being trapped, of the confusion of complicated cheeses.
"Sally, m'dear. Are you alright?" asked Joe, peering around from the side of her door.
"No I am not fucking okay! You sick bastard!" she screamed back.
"I can see that the new chef is bothering you. I shall send him back to Colorado."
"It's not the chef, Joe! It's you." Sally threw her bed-side lamp at the doorway, and it smashed on the wall.
"In time, you will learn to love me."
"Go die, Joe."
"See you at dinner."

The Man stood outside of the towering mansion, nestled in a rocky outcrop from the mountains. The whole town was in shadow from the mountain range. The setting sun over the peaks light up the Man's face under his hat. He sucked in his breath and ran up the steps, kicked down the door and screamed:
"Joe! I'm back!"
A gunshot fired through the wide hallway and a vase beside the Man exploded. He ran and dove behind a table, flipped it over. Three more shots whizzed by the table and knocked some paintings off the wall.
"I thought you stopped talking!" called a familiar voice from upstairs, it sounded like velvet, but something seemed awry in it, something menacing.
"I did!" yelled the man. He popped up for a second and fired twice at the spot where he thought Joe was.
"I also thought you stopped breathing!" shouted Joe, running down the the stairs firing the remaining two at the Man. One bullet shot off the Man's hat, showing his scruffy brown hair matted on his scalp.
"Not yet," said the Man. He ran towards Joe, firing his revolver, the last three shots lodging themselves in the wall on either side of Joe. The two men met with fists flying.
Punches flailing, Joe gets one in the jaw, the Man gets one in the kidney. Joe kicked the Man in the stomach, sending him back into the overturned table. Breathing heavily, Joe pulled a second gun from his belt and fired once at the Man's chest.
Blood welled up around the small hole in the Man's white shirt. Sweat began to pour steadily down his forehead. Joe just stood there laughing.
"You came all this way, and I kill you before you even get to see Sally. It's beautiful, it's like something out of a cheesy story, my god!" Joe mused. The Man just started to smile, as he stood up. Joe was still reveling the beauty of his situation when the Man pulled his second revolver from his boot. Joe stopped, and stared at the Man.
"How...but...I shot you!" stammered Joe.
The Man only said one word: "Winged" and put a bullet into Joe's skull.
"Edward!"
Sally ran down the stairs with open arms.
"Edward, my god, I thought you were dead."
"Sausage legs!" yelled the Man.
"I haven't heard that nickname in years, Edward." cried Sally, embracing the Man and putting her head against his shoulder.
"Sally I'd love to have this reunion but we need to get moving," replied the Man. "Now we need to get moving, Joe's men will probably guess what happened with these gunshots. Gather supplies and I'll get some horses ready, and..."
But Sally just smiled, one of those smiles that tells you that everything's going to be alright.

-Lucas Thurston

Dear Readers

noreply@blogger.com (Matt) — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 04:34:00 +0000

As you may know, there have been a complete absence of posts lately. Sure, Tyler's Greased Lightning video was good, but was it good to watch for the past 6 days? Maybe. But I'm just here to say there will be great new content after school is over, because it is exam time right now. "Oh no!" you may go. "THATS TOO LONG!!"

WELL NONE OF YOU WILL SAY THAT CAUSE NONE OF YOU READ THIS!!!! HAHAHA

But yeah. Look forward to new short story videos, lip dubs, content, and etc!!! ICe creAM1

Greased Lightning

noreply@blogger.com (Tyler) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 20:03:00 +0000

We'll get some overhead lifters and some four barrel quads,
oh yeah.

A fuel injection cutoff and chrome plated rods, oh yeah.

With a four speed on the floor, they'll be waiting at the door.
You know that ain't no shit, we'll be getting lots of tit,

In Grease Lightning

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go

The Balloon Guy

noreply@blogger.com (Tyler) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 02:00:00 +0000

The clock had just rolled over to 10:00 p.m.

I had just finished editing a video. Blurry-eyed, I navigated Kotaku's RSS feed. A post catches my eye, "Master Chief as balloons". Intrigued, I click the link. I am reading the post when there is a pink hyperlink that reads "Balloon Guy has an equally impressive/horrific Mario on display". Not thinking I hover over it for a second while I finish reading the rest of the post, and then click it.

Balloon Mario

It will never be the same.

Reflection ( A Short Short Short Story by Lucas Thurston)

noreply@blogger.com (Lucas) — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 02:23:00 +0000

"An empty street save for a newspaper rolling across the pavement, the hollow echo of footsteps in a lonesome hallway, having the sheets up to your ears and the only you can hear is your own breathing, seeing the silhouette of a tree against the dark dome of the night sky and looking down through the branches to see the orange street far below, that heavy feeling your eyelids get when you begin to fall asleep while listening to music, the hushed sound of snow falling in your backyard."

"Yeah man, that's cool too. I still just like tits."

-Lucas Thurston

ZOMBIE UPDATE II

noreply@blogger.com (Reid) — Sat, 31 May 2008 02:57:00 +0000

High Powered Rifle

Another well known weapon of the zombie slayer's arsenal, the rifle has a combination of accuracy, stopping power, and ROF (rate of fire). However, it does not excel in any of the said areas and used inappropriately will result in certain death via zombie. A few simple tips can drastically improve the effectiveness of your rifle:

Keep your distance. The rifle was made to used fired at a medium to long range. Use that range and drop em' as you see em'. Even though it does have a higher ROF than that of a shotgun, it is still in your best interest to give yourself space to allow “tracking” targets.
Don't get trigger happy. I know it's tempting to unload everything you got into those soulless fuckers but remember, it's a high powered RIFLE. Not a 2000 round/minute mini gun. Conserve your ammo. Take them down one-at-a-time.
Be accurate. Take head shots. Remember: “You kill the brain, you kill the ghoul” The higher degree of accuracy your have allows you to get more kills with less bullets. If you have a high kills:shots ratio, firearms like this and the sniper rifle will best suit you and your team.

ANTI ZOMBIE PLAN: NUMERO DOS (OPERATION MAIDEN VOYAGE)

Not too long ago, Tyler Cote and myself had developed and simple but “water-tight” plan in defense of the zombie invasion. As we all know (or should know), zombies can't swim. Escape is just a boat ride away. To begin, make sure all your supplies are stowed aboard. Then, sail away. The only thing those land-locked zombies can do as glare at you and think angry, vacant thoughts. As you leave port you can taunt the undead with zippy one-liners. Like “BON VOYAGE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!” or “LICK MY SACK!!!!!” followed up my pointing at your genitalia. When you run out of resources, simply send out a smaller boat to fill up with supplies. Also choosing your vessel is important. Cruise ships and large yachts are fine, but the best naval unit for use would undoubtedly be a battle cruiser. Having which gives you the ability to support your landing party will the on board long-range artillery. Basically clearing the shore or dock of any welcoming party of the brain-eating variety. Seriously, whats better than opening up on those undead, shit for brains, heathen, mother fucking, cock-chugging, vomit spewing, blood thirsty, handicapped, unsanitary, mindset of less than an insect, sons of bitches, cunt munching, douche bag, FUCKING FUCKERS WHO FUCK SHIT AND SHIT ON EVERYTHING BY FUCKING IT, CALL YOUR MOM , TAKE HER OUT ON AN EXPENSIVE SEAFOOD DINNER AND NEVER CALL HER AGAIN ASSHOLES WHO FUCKING, FUCK, FUCKITY, FUCK, FUCK, FUCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!! GODDAMN ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!! KILL EM!!! KILL EM ALL!!!!!! KILL EM AGAIN!!!!! MAKE EM DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whoops, I got a little carried away there. Sorry about that. Well that's all for now, and remember, GET A PLAN!

Kevin Horrocks'ss's BrantForum Blogstavaganza

noreply@blogger.com (Matt) — Fri, 30 May 2008 01:39:00 +0000

Hey dedicated and sheeplike readers: I would like to point you in Kevin Horrocks'ss's direction. Why? Because he owns a FORUM!!!! For the readers who know their tricowinc history, we used to have a forum, but then it got taken over by spambots and I just decided to delete it and make the site a blog. Look at the success we have now! Mr Horrocks has decided to go the failure route and host a forum. So, I'm here to lend a helping hand in his failure.

Please readers, sign up for this forum. Mr Horrocks is a good friend of us ALL!!!

Forum Link

Work: A Short Story not by Lucas

noreply@blogger.com (Matt) — Wed, 28 May 2008 02:10:00 +0000

"You're fired."

My apathetic nature didn't comprehend this well.

"Oh...okay. Can I ask why?" I asked, not exactly wanting to know, but for the sake of curiousity.

"Uhm...no."

"Huh. Okay."

"You should pack your things."

"Ok. Yeah, I'll do that. Uhh, but isn't there a law for telling me why I was fired, or something? Unlawful termination?"

"Probably, but I haven't heard of it."

"Huh."

"Yeah." My manager and I looked away. This was an awkward situation to be in. I didn't want to leave that much, but I guess I had to.

"I think I'll sue."

"Uhm, okay. See you in court I guess."

"Yeah, cya." I gathered my things off my desk, and left the building. The breeze felt good in my hair, and the sunshine beat down on my face. I went to the nearest restaurant, a sandwich shop, and ordered a BLT. All the two-seated tables were full, so I sat at a four-seat. Sitting alone at a four-seat table was always a bummer, but today it was more of a blessing. I was carrying a lot of stuff, and I had to set it down somewhere. My sandwich came. I ate it while looking out the window. Two men caught my eye, arguing over a minor auto collision, with no visible damage done. At the table beside me, a woman dressed in green accidentally spilt her drink in her new purse. The smell told me it was new, as if she just came from a department store. She'd have to return it, or get a new one.

I finished up my meal, grabbed my box, and headed out to the park. I always loved the park ever since I was about five or six. There was a rock in the middle of this smaller stream, that I would always try and jump on to, but I never quite made it. I sat there for a good ten minutes, before deciding I would try to jump. Setting the box down, I took a running start.

Bam. I made it. I finally succeeded at a 15 year old goal. I set my sights back on the box beside the river, and noticed it was slipping in on mud. The box fell all the way in. I watched it float away.

An Unfortunate Man (A Short Story)

noreply@blogger.com (Lucas) — Wed, 28 May 2008 01:51:00 +0000

"Hey John, hurry up!"
"Hang on, hang on man," groaned John. "I will, just let me finish my lemon chicken."
The three of them were sitting in the booth near the windows in Zhong's Dine & Take-Out. The room was still hot from the day, but a cool breeze was drifting through the open window. A single incandescent bulb hung over their table, but only a golden haze penetrated through the cigarette smoke.
"C'mon John, we ain't got all night, man." prodded Phillip.
"I don't see why we all have to do it at once," muttered John over the remains of his chicken.
"Hey, shut up and eat," Theodore said. "It's tradition, mate! We've always done it."
"Alright, I'm done," John said.
"Kickass!"
"Right, okay, get your cookies ready," instructed Theodore. "Aaaaaaaaaaaand....OPEN!"
John, Theodore, and Phillip ripped open the crinkly transparent plastic surrounding the sugary dessert. Their hands tore the cookies apart, and crumbs flew over the white table top.
"'Kay, I'll read mine first," said Phillip.
"Alright go," Theodore replied.
Silence fell over the three as Phillip unrolled the small rectangular piece of paper. The sound of plates clinking together was heard through the haze, probably from the kitchen.
"Okay. 'Your life from here on will be successful and full of happiness,'" Phillip read from the fortune.
"Heyyyyy, not bad. That's pretty sweet," mused John.
"Yeah, that was actually fairly awesome," laughed Theodore. "I'm next, called it."
"Whatever man, doesn't matter," retorted John.
Another moment of silence.
"Ha! Check this out : 'The opposite sex sees you as the pinnacle of attractiveness'" shouted Theodore, thrusting his arms above his head, sending the fortune fluttering into Phillip's cup of green tea.
"Now, that is what I'm talking about," said Phillip, fishing the fortune out of his drink.
"Okay, finally, it's my turn," said John irritably.
"You totally cared that I went second," whispered Theodore, smugly.
"Shut up," John growled back.
His fingertips slowly opened the thin piece of paper. His right-hand thumb and middle finger grasping one end, while his left-hand fingers pulled the fortune out straight. John's ice blue eyes took in each and every letter in a matter of seconds, but the anticipation stretched out time. His tongue slide over his bottom lip as the letters formed words in his mind. In his brain he put it together. His tongue stopped about two thirds of the way across his lip, it began to hang there. It was there, clear as day. A muscle at the side of his eye twitched involuntarily.

'Give up.'

-Lucas Thurston

A Short Message From Lucas

noreply@blogger.com (Lucas) — Wed, 28 May 2008 01:45:00 +0000

Hello readers of Tricowinc, it is your president speaking, Lucas Thurston. You may have noticed that I have been writing stories about junk. Well, expect more stories to come, as I have just decided that I will write them on a weekly basis. "Why?" you may ask, well, because I want to. And there's nothing you can do about it.

-Lucas Thurston

Indy Jones

noreply@blogger.com (Aric) — Mon, 26 May 2008 23:24:00 +0000

Right, so this is how it is. Me and my chums went to see Indiana Jones on Saturday at the local (not really) Theater. We're all fans of Indiana Jones, except for a select few who had not even seen the older movies in their entire lives *glares*. Anyways we're all pumped for one of the best movies ever made. We got to the Theater, got our tickets, chose our seats (filling up a row) and waited. And waited. WAITING IS BORING, PLAY NOW! Anyways the lights dimmed, we watch the previews for other movies and WAITING in anticipation. Finally the feature presentation played and we all held our breathes. Now I'm not going to give you a play by play of the movies. That would be boring and take to fucking long. Instead I'm going to tell you how I think it was.

Anyways after me and my chums saw the movie. We were, in awe? Right word? Probably not. It was a good movie, possibly even a great movie. But many thought it wasn't Crusades, more of a Temple of Doom. A good movie, but not Indiana Jones. I would agree. Except I kinda think it was better then Temple of Doom, if only by a bit. It (kinda) reminded me of an episode of Stargate (which also had an episode dealing with a crystal skull). I like Stargate, Stargate is great. But Stargate does not belong with Indiana Jones. No, Indiana Jones may have things with Supernatural shit, but not SCI-FI. It should have nothing to do with things like Doctor Who (also a great show). I mean it had many great aspects of Indiana Jones, Harrison Ford had the old smile in place, their was an evil girl (only Russian not Nazi), and the Hat. Everyone remembers the hat. The hat is great.

Right so that's what I thought of Indiana Jones, a good movie (not Crusaders good but a good movie) . So that was my review. Not good (not Crusaders good) but okay. I'm no review, I'm a viewer.

Pour Steff F. (A Short Story)

noreply@blogger.com (Lucas) — Mon, 26 May 2008 22:24:00 +0000

It was too hot to think.

Time was slowly crawling by, like a man left in the desert looking for water. My fingers danced over the keys like a ballerina in Swan Lake. I wasn't getting anywhere, the screen just flickered playfully at me, taunting my lack of motivation.
"What's that from?"
The voice came from right behind me. Humid breath drifted over the back of my neck and tickled the tiny hairs.
"Nothing, I made up off the top of my head," I muttered quietly.
I turned around, she was sitting to my left, behind my shoulder. Only her nose and lips were visible in shade that her hair created over her face.
"Really?" she asked.
"Yeah. I'm like that sometimes."
I shifted my feet on the hard floor, and the dust made a gritty noise as my shoes moved over top of the floor's surface.
"You can stop talking like that now," she said, obviously irritated.
The dame was saying something, but my mind was drifting to someplace else.
"Dame? What did you just call me."
The text on the screen became dark blurs as my eyes unfocused. I could tell that I was getting my head bitten off, but I was far, far away.
"Seriously, shut up. We need to get some work done."
I snapped back into reality. The sepia light was pouring through the tall windows, and diagonal lines of dust floated through these yellow bands. I could feel my back sticking to the green leather chair as I sat forward. The whole room smelt old, that pungent smell of leather, dust, and wood.
"Yeah, I guess your right," I said quickly.
"Okay, so..."
She shook the hair out of her face, her cheeks were flushed and red. Hair was hanging over her right eye, her left was a azure tidal pool surrounded by a storm.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"You're lovely when you're angry, darling."
"Oh my god," she stood up, . "Something's wrong with you."
"That's the way it goes, kid."
"I'm leaving. Do the work yourself."
I guess the storm had passed, or at least to the library door.
"SHUT UP!"
The dame was gone, only her sweet scent remained. I guess I still wouldn't get any work done.

-Lucas Thurston

Album Review: Arm's Way by Islands

noreply@blogger.com (Lucas) — Thu, 22 May 2008 21:31:00 +0000

To start things off, I have to say that I wasn't a huge fan of Return To The Sea. I mean, it wasn't terrible, but it just seemed empty. The most of the tracks appeared to be thoughtless indie pop. "Swans (Life After Death)" was the only song that really interested me on the album, and in a way, it foreshadows their newest release. Arm's Way is longer and ballsier than Return to the Sea. Oddly enough, it shows more relation to Island's early demos, (ie. "Abominable Snowman" and "Flesh"), than Return To The Sea does. In fact, two songs are updated version of early demos, one called "Abominable Snow", and "I Feel Evil Creeping In".

Islands still sound poppy and catchy, but there is an edge. The lyrics are darker and Nick Thornburn really pushes his voice, at first I didn't recognize him. This time around the band seems actually into playing instruments, the guitar is crunchy, the drums are crashing, and the strings sweep in a beautiful melodramatic manner. Wait, strings? Yes. Strings. Arm's Way has an interesting twist, many tracks are heavily orchestrated. Nothing like something new to mix things up, I always say.

Arm's Way is going to be a divisible album, that's for sure. People have already said how it's too heavy-handed, and how it just isn't like their first. And should it be? For me, this is a positive step for Islands, they are doing what I really hoped they would do in the first place, make a rock album, not some faux-hip hop country samba album. And really, what is cooler than having Nick yelping "You are forgotten" to a part of the Who's "A Quick One While He's Gone", during "In The Rushes"?

Not everything is perfect though. "Creeper" is a little too disco, and the latin bridge in "J'aime Vous Voir Quitter" is a little too forced, but these faults are easy to look over.
It's dark, yet fun. Loud, yet catchy. It even has Hieronymus Bosch-esque album art. That's a winner in my book.

Rating: 4/5

-Lucas Thurston

Batulli and Manicci - A Pretentious Short Story by Lucas Thurston

noreply@blogger.com (Lucas) — Thu, 22 May 2008 02:23:00 +0000

Blood slowly dribbled though his teeth. He coughed and small dark flecks flew onto his white button-up shirt. They made a vague impressionist painting on his chest. His eye lids lay heavily about halfway down his eyes.
He felt the hot ring of the barrel of a handgun press up against his forehead.
"This is it Batulli! You have hid long enough in my footsteps, soon you will only be hidden by the earth over your body"
"Yeah well you know what? I-," Batulli stopped, he suddenly, on some strange impulse, decided to abort his thought.
"You know what what?" asked Manicci.
"Oh nothing."
"Come on, " pried Manicci. "Tell me."
"Nah, I decided against it," mused Batulli, in a strangely serene manner.
"What? No, tell me!"
"No, I don't want to."
"You can't just set me up like this! Now I want to know."
"Yeah well, it's gone now." replied Batulli.
"But...this...what? Why can't you just tell me?" pleaded Manicci. "I'm about to kill you! Doesn't that make you want to say your true feelings?"
"Not particularly," stated Batulli.
"Aww, c'mon! You're ruining the fun of killing you!" whined Manicci.
"Well, no one's putting a gun to your head."
"But...you in the shadows, I mean...hey, that was pretty funny right there. With the 'gun to your head' thing, very clever."
"I thought so."
A silence feel over the two men. The morning sun illuminated the both of them. Two silhouettes, one propped up against the vent, one standing with his arms at his sides.
"The morning sure is beautiful isn't it."
"Yeah...it really is."
Silence again.
"Same time next week?"
"Yeah sure."
"Right...hey could I borrow your cell? Ambulance."
"Oh yeah, no prob."

FIN

-Lucas Thurston

A Car Factory?: Ep. 9: Industrial-Psyche-Dirt Mall Rock

noreply@blogger.com (Lucas) — Sat, 17 May 2008 20:59:00 +0000

It is rare when a Ford Plant show has no merit, but it is rare when a show has such a diverse and interesting range of sets. Last Friday left me buzzing and exhausted, but in a different way than the crazy show with the Torcus and Born Ruffians. Each band was fulfilling in their own strange ways, I mean strange.

Get in car, drive down to downtown Paris, go to Steve's, eat, eat, eat, get back in car, drive to Brantford...BANG! Ford Plant! The show did not show until much later than expected, something like 20 to 10:00, but no matter, some serious rockin' was to ensue.

Vincat was the first band to play. This band is from far away. As in Victoria, BC, so I feel that we're pretty lucky to see this band. Anyways, they took some time to set up, they had lights and things to get ready. Finally, when the stage was ready, some green pinpoints of light were projected over the three members of Vincat. It looked as if they were three galactic beings traversing through the infinite depths of space. They sounded like it too. Vincat was like a dream come true for me, I've always wanted to see a really psychedelic band at the Ford Plant. Vocals with delay, crashing cymbals, and phased-out guitars washed over us as Vincat showed us what the future is going to be like.

Apart from the sheer epicness of their music, the stage show was impressive itself. The lead singer, and the guitarist both wore shiny clothing. The lead singer also had these thick white glasses on, which surprisingly, turned out to be fake and had flashing lights on them. Awesome. And, the drummer occasionally fired off some confetti guns. Nothing quite like something a bit different to spice up the night, but different was just getting started.

I was standing by the window of the FP when I looked inside and saw a man with an electric guitar messing around with some drum machines. I inquired of my friends "who this fellow be?" Responeth they: "Wax Mannequin". I darted inside.

There were some problems with the sound of his equipment, but he fixed it quickly. I'd like to get a simple description of Wax Mannequin's sound in, it is so hard. He was like this cross between industrial music and folk. But the folk parts were played with a very distorted guitar. And his drum machine that added the industrial feel also sounded slightly humourous, in an ominous way. I don't think that there is an easy way to describe the aural pounding we received.

Wax Mannequin's songs were dark and brooding, he had this depressed sad quality to his music. At least until he went all rock with "Tell The Doctor". His stage presence was manic, as he stood with his head thrust high and his arm attacking the strings on his dark guitar. Tendons protruded from his neck as he sang with the utmost passion. Needless to say, it was an exhausting set.

His music may have seemed serious, frightening even, but his relation to the crowd was nothing but bizarre. With each introduction to the song, he built up this character. He mentioned how he likes the Ford Plant because everything fucks up. "Just like my life," he added. Is he depressed, or being ironically funny. Or am I just over-analyzing it? He told us how one song is about inviting friends over to see the news, and then the news makes you kill your friends. When he was done his set, he threw down his guitar and walked out into the middle of the crowd. He stopped for a second and walked back to turn off his amp. Was this all just show, or was Wax Mannequin angry at the electricity that he had seen in his equipment, and how a person had stepped on his stuff. Whatever the answer, I have been left with a show that I shall not forget easily. The music was engrossing and the man was even more so.

Mitch had told me about BA Johnston. I must say, I had high expectations. Of what, I did not know, but I had expectations. I expected to see something crazy, exciting, and hilarious. Did Mr. Johnston deliver? Yes, he certainly did, dear readers.

I think that describing BA's music is futile, telling people how he used a CD player for some songs, keyboard presets for some, and a shitty acoustic guitar for others would just make him seem pointless. Honestly, who cares about an attention hog with a pit bull sweater singing over top of a CD? What if he's really god damn funny, and puts across a great show? Well then, you've got yourself a kick-ass time.

He came into the room with sparklers in his hands, running to the Rocky theme. Throughout the show he did songs about shitty malls, guys who won't leave so you can make out, and pirates. While singing these songs, he ran, leapt, danced through the audience. Matt almost got kicked in the face by BA. Awesome! Some guy got taken out by BA Johnston's knee slide right in front of me. Kick-ass! Racoon Wedding's keyboardist, Scott, climbed on some guy, and then fell a good five feet to floor on his side! Rumptastic! It was like a party that everyone was invited to, and the host was this chubby bearded man, who had recently exploded a beer bottle onto the crowd.

"Would you guys like me to play my last song outside?" he asked us. We responded with a unanimous "yes". "Meet me at my station-wagon," he informed us. I ran outside, followed by the rest of the crowd, and looked for a station-wagon. Trevor Tupple was standing in the middle of the road pointing at a rusted old vehicle across the street. The crowd gathered around, and BA sang us one last song. Cole's cousin was banging on the hood of his car, and most of the crowd was singing along with the song, as loud as they could.

Off into the night we trudged, with the sound of drum machines, CD player track skip beeps, and outer space ringing in our ears.

-Lucas Thurston

BONUS DRUNK VIDEO

BA Johnston @ the fp from Tricowinc on Vimeo.

May 2 4 Stories

noreply@blogger.com (Tyler) — Sat, 17 May 2008 04:55:00 +0000

As all of you know, its May 2 4 weekend, so you know what that means, drinking if you drink, and partying if you party. Post all your crazy stories here, at the official May 2 4 Story post.

Weezer: Red Album Preview

noreply@blogger.com (Lucas) — Tue, 13 May 2008 21:54:00 +0000

Right, so as everyone knows, the first 8 tracks have now leaked from Weezer's latest release, the Red Album. Ever since Make Believe, my faith in Weezer has been waining. Seriously, "We Are All On Drugs" is not a intelligent social commentary, it sucks. So, when I heard of the leak, I was worried. What if it sucks, could this mean the utter destruction of a great rock band? Bands have come back from slumps. I mean, Weezer has been saying how excited they are about it, but bands always say that.
So, I get myself a torrent and take a listen. Okay, first off, no, it's not Blue Album or Pinkerton, but can we expect a band to try to constantly replicate what they did back in the 90's? Well, I like to.
Only half of the songs actually caught my interest. The leading single "Pork And Beans" is okay I guess, but it just seems shallow. It is just Rivers saying how different he is and how no one can tell him what to do...as he makes his record label tonnes of cash. "Troublemaker" has a nice bounciness to it that is reminiscent of their older material, but something seemed wrong, I'll touch on it in a bit.
The two most interesting tracks were "Dreamin'" and "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived". "Dreamin'" had some interesting changes and bits in the music. It had a nice rock and roll feel to it. "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" is strange to say the least. It seems to be a rock epic about how great Rivers is, maybe not, but he pretty much sang about how awesome he is. Jerkiness aside, it is one of the most interesting songs that Weezer has done in years. The beginning is the quiet piano riff, followed by Rivers rapping. It was kind of disconcerting, but at least it sounded gritty. Then it took off. It was epic with deep heavy guitars and some overdubbed choruses.
As I stated previously, something seemed wrong with the songs. Looking at their older material we hear feedback and the sound of fingers moving on strings. The first track on Pinkerton starts off with feedback! Nowadays, Weezer is perfectly produced with no feedback and no finger noises, no sing of a fucking human. What proof is there that the studio just made the songs in Fruity Loops and then had them sing over top? I miss the days when Weezer sounded real. The reason why I started listening to Weezer was the sheer noise of their songs, not the sleek production values. So at least what I've heard isn't absolutely atrocious, it certainly does not recall the days when our speakers wailed with feedback and Rivers' voice actually sounded full of emotion instead of lame attempts at social commentary.
-Lucas Thurston

Grease

noreply@blogger.com (Tyler) — Tue, 13 May 2008 01:45:00 +0000

Early last Monday morning I was sitting in my first period math class. Its a grade 11 class so I dont really know anyone in it, when all of a sudden Scott Farley approached me. “Would you be interested in doing lights for the Grease production?”. I dont know whether it was the T3’s from getting my wisdom teeth pulled, or the fact that it was a Monday morning, or maybe some unseen factor that I still cant comprehend;

But I said yes.

He informed me that I would have to be willing to give up most of the next week of my life to this thing. I agreed, thinking he was exaggerating. So later that day during design, Marc informed me that he was approached to be the sound technician for the event, and that we had quite a practice schedule. I never got a schedule so he showed me his, and that was when I realized what exactly I had gotten myself into.

Thurs. May 1 1 3:30 - 8
Sun. May 4 10 a.m. - 8 p.m.
Mon. May 5 6 - 10
Tues. May 6 6 - 10
Wed. May 7 Performances the entire day
Thurs. May 8 6 - 10 Performance
Fri. May 9 6 - 10 Performance
Sat. May 10 6 - 10 Performance
Sun. May 11 1 - 5 Performance

Now those dont sound so terrible, but I was one of the tech guys so I was required to come early to help set up the sound equipment with Marc Schubert, which was a massive undertaking. And we were never ever on time. Most of the nights I was there 5 - 12, and needless to say I was very sleep deprived most of the week.

So Wednesday rolled around and it was time for the first performance, there was alot of anticipation in the cast and crew. I mean, it was only a bunch of little elementary school kids and everybody knows they aren’t actual people yet, so it was like a practice with little people. But regardless it was considered a performance and that made the actors pretty nervous, seeing as it was their first time doing the play infront of a crowd. It started off a little shaky, mostly because everyone was reading their lines ridiculously fast and you weren't able to understand them, and the mics were a little sketchy. But Marc quickly got those to work, so it was just the actors. It went off pretty well, a definite improvement over the practices.

So we got Wednesday over with, it was more of a tech practice if anything. Then Thursday came, opening night. I was sitting up on my balcony with my spartan laser waiting for the crowds to come in. All of a sudden it got really loud and people just began pouring into the gym. It was pretty intimidating. Im not gona lie. This was the worst performance of them all. The singing was all off, the lines were fragmented and not fluid at all, and there was no drummer! It was just overall disappointing, but I wrote it off as nervousness. But of course the lighting was spot-on.

Friday came and I was ready for another train wreck. Fortunately for everyone involved it went off surprisingly well. There was a few issues with mics being turned off during scenes, but that was a pretty minor issue. Other then that it was pretty good. Especially the lights.

I slept in like a motherfucker on Saturday, getting up at about 2. I was kind of late showing up for the performance, and whilst warming up my spotlight catastrophe struck! The spotlight wouldn't change sizes. All I heard was a small jingling noise, like a coin falling on the ground or something, come from inside of the light. The light was fucked. It was at the max size it could go, and it being so soon to the start of the show there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I decided I should just go with it, and work the focus as hard as possibly to change the size as much as it would let me. This show was soooooo much better then the Thursday one, the singing was almost spot on and the lines were much much much better. I was pretty impressed at the amount they improved. And just like that it was over for the first cast. As usual the lighting was stellar, even with the broken spotlight.

I woke up in my bed, which was strange because I thought I was spending the night at Danielle’s house. I laid there for awhile trying to figure out what exactly happened the night before. All I knew is I had a ridiculous hangover, and it was noon, so I got up, got ready, took some Advil, and was on my way to the last performance. This was by far the best performance of them all, the cast seemed very comfortable with the audience and their lines, sometimes improvising which I was impressed by because it actually seemed to fit the context of the play. The singing was awesome, except the last song which was never good, but it wasn't nearly as bad as before. We even got a special guest appearance by Mr.North, who took on the role of Johnny Casino, complete with curly-haired wig. And then, it was over. I invited everyone to come to Kels to have a celebratory dinner, but it was mothers day and everyone was busy. So it ended up just being my and my awesome lighting double Ellen, who was working the stage lights.

All in all I would say it was an amazing bunch of performances, and the work they put in defiantly showed, except for the Thursday show.

Share what you thought of it in the comments.

WTF?

noreply@blogger.com (King Pin) — Sat, 10 May 2008 21:11:00 +0000

And now for another installment in the never ending series of WTF because the world is just that f@#!ed up.

Schooling!

Two days ago I was happy and blissful in my ignorance, but now I am stressed with a decision that will have far reaching repurcussions. About a month ago I was accepted to attend the University of Guelph, this school is quite a good school, especially when it comes to science (especially biological aspects of it). I was to attend the Engineering Faculty and specialize in the Environmental section of that faculty. I thought that this was a good fit because it is a good school aswell as having a reputation for being a school where one can have a good time(woooo!).
However I did not know that I had made such a good impression at the University of Waterloo and a couple of days ago I found out that I had been accepted there. And this is the dilemma, I must now decide which school I should attend in the fall. As i mentioned before Guelph is reputed to be a fun school and a very good one, academically speaking at that. However at Waterloo it is an even better school academically, some even call it the best school in Canada for Engineering and the Sciences. At Waterloo however the workload might bury me and I might not do as well as I would if I go to Guelph. At Waterloo there will be little time for fun, but the career options in the long run might be worth it, if i do very well I might even be able to retire young and marry several supermodels, okay I'm exaggerating but it still might be worth it. On the other hand my family seems to be pressuring me to go to Guelph, even my family members that did not go to Guelph are trying to get me to go there, their explanation is that I will have more fun and that I would be able to keep up with the work. The last thing that might help me decide is the program at Waterloo i would be going into. At Guelph I would just be studying Environmental Engineering, however at Waterloo I would be studying Systems Design Engineeirng. This type of Engineering is best described as a multidiciplinary approach to solving problems that involve the environment, society and technical skills and this is very interesting to me.
Lastly I hope that I will be able to figure out where to go in the next couple of weeksm and any input you have on the matter would be greatly appreciated.

ZOMBIES: The Undead Menace

noreply@blogger.com (Reid) — Thu, 08 May 2008 01:12:00 +0000

A month or so ago on Xbox LIVE, myself, Josh White, and other friends of mine played a series of infection matches on Halo 3. If you are not familiar with this it is a free-for-all type of game where there are basically two types of players. Humans and Zombies. The objective for a human player is very simple: survive by any means necessary. With zombies it is even more simplistic: kill (eat) humans. The winner is the individual who has the most kills, by either eating humans' brains or by slaying the undead. Anyway, after I finished playing I caught my self actually imaging scenario's of a zombie outbreak and strategies used to combat these freaks of nature. The more I thought of it the more important this issue became to me. And under recent years it has become apparent that people should be prepared for a zombie attack and develop a “Zombie Plan” . Now you're probably saying “omg this kid's and IDIOT”, but hear me out.

THE THREAT

Over the last centuries, sciences in medicine have been improving. Ideas of cloning and regrowing dead cells were seen as impossible as recent as 20-30 years ago. Now, humankind is on the doorstep of “playing God”. But if you will also notice is that diseases have also developed. Cancer was unheard of until the 1980s. A disease that takes cells in your body and makes them useless, if not harmful to your body. What's to say that something like cancer, won't kill off non-essential cells like nerves or the parts of your brain which allow you to think rationally? Drastically changing the human being from the sophisticated being that we are, into a non-intelligent, cannibalistic animal. If we can take precautions on something as insignificant as infections from mosquitoes, we can certainly ready ourselves for a mind-controlling tumor.

I'm not the only one who also believes we need to be ready. On April 6, 2008, Wesley Wyndham-Price addressed the City Creek Municipal Council in Georgia on the importance of preparing the city of a possible zombie attack. He pointed out that large populated areas like shopping malls and interstate highways need protection from undead as they will be the first places to be hit from an invasion of zombies. Convinced, councilman Luke Garott declared that he would forward the zombie recommendation to the appropriate emergency committee to ready them selves to combat the possible disaster.

THE PLAN

So to keep yourself safe from zombies follow these steps:

Stock up on everything. Food, fuel, weapons, etc... Basically gather all the resources you possibly can, and put them in a safe place where they can't be stolen when panic breaks out and people steal everything that isn't tied down. If you are unable to get a firearm it's still okay. Hand tools and baseball bats are effective deterrents. However, you will be faced with more close-combat situations then that of someone who can blast the zombies from a distance. Just remember everything is a weapon, but some are better than others.
Plan your escape. Have a map handy to layout a path to follow which should lead you away from any large populations. Anticipate problems beforehand and make multiple escape routes. Stay away from highways and stick to back country roads. Again the further you are from large populated areas the better.
Build a camp. Pick a location that is easily defendable where few can fight many and win. Think 300. Tight, narrow areas where large numbers mean nothing. Caves, ridges, tunnels, all of these are decent places. However, fighting is something that is best avoided. In many cases you cannot win against a limitless army that feels no pain. As well as being defendable. Your camp must be well hidden from the senses of observation. Sight, sound, and smell are all sections of staying hidden that you might want to protect your camp against. If they can't find you, they can't eat you.
The most crucial part of planning. Get teammates. The more people your “team” has, the more chance you have at surviving as a whole. More people = more guns shooting at zombies. Just as well, the more people you have, the less chance of you getting eaten by a zombie, because someone else probably will. It's cynical, but it's the truth.
If you are ever put into the situation where you will have to have to combat a zombie, keep these necessary tidbits in mind:

Keep your eyes on the zombie. Watch for it's intent an see how it will attack you. Just because it's a zombie doesn't mean it's predictable.
Go for the head. Like humans, the most efficient way to kill a zombie to BLOW IT'S FUCKING HEAD OFF!!! with no brain to control the body, it becomes dead weight and poses no threat to anyone. shooting it anywhere else will only slow it down temporarily. Doing so is just fucking pointless.
Keep your distance. If you don't have to fight it in hand-to-hand combat, don't. Just shoot it from afar. This also prevents zombie blood from getting on you. If a single drop touches any cell on your body, you better just put a shotgun to your head and pull the trigger. So it's imperative to keep away from a zombie.
Weapons. Go for something with good stopping power, like a high powered rifle or shotgun. If you cannot find any, blunt hand weapons like a hammer or crowbar are good. Just be careful when using them, close combat is always dangerous with zombies.

So in conclusion. Don't laugh because it can happen, anything is possible in today's modern science and society. When it happens, get resources, get out, get a camp, get teammates, get em' dead. Zombies will indisputably have the element of surprise as well as numbers on their size. Millions of people will die, and it will be a dark age for humanity. But if you're smart, capable, and ready. The legions of the undead will be no match for you. Remember.....GET A PLAN!

-Reid Miller

Would you rather

noreply@blogger.com (James) — Mon, 05 May 2008 19:20:00 +0000

Would you rather be blindfolded and make love to Aric (can't see him, but know its him)?
or Would you rather make love to a random person (85% chance Aric AND Reggie, 15% chance love of your life (assuming its not Aric and Reggie, (btw aric and reg are the loves of my life))) without a blindfold?

:O!!

This is a scientific study, so please, think about it, post answers in comments.

Isaac's Links 2.0

noreply@blogger.com (Isaac) — Mon, 05 May 2008 02:53:00 +0000

Okay I am back and have come with many a gift in link form. So let's find out what I found this week in the enlightening forest of edumacanement of the World Wide Web.

Fan Male
First up is a link that continues my love for the man that is Jakob Lodwick. I first heard of him from the Harvey Danger lip dub that I linked to last week and have continued to follow his tumblr blog and his videos ever since. For the most part he is a pretty pretentious, pompous jerk and it may very well be the reason I like him. But I also recognize that he has a way of seeing things that others may not, like vimeo or the music industry. And I look up to him for that. This was just one of his posts that I enjoyed reading because it hit home with me because I know a few people that are self-conscious about how they look in photos. And so I send this to them if they ever give me a hard time about it (true story).

50 Ways to Use Bacon
This second link is to a post on a site that has listed, as the title says, 50 ways to use bacon. I thought this to originally be a cool article because it was food and a funny article because it sounded ridiculous. And then I started reading the list and it was quite awesome. Truly worth my time and bookmark space.

(Really) Stunning Pictures and Photos
This is a collection of really cool pictures and photos that I found. I haven't even been able to look at them all with as much time as I'd like and therefore I bookmarked it.

Funniest Valedictorian Speech Ever
And lastly, for the video link this week I found the perfect one. A bit of background goes like this, I being my grade 8 valedictorian was intrigued at first by the title of this video and was immediately drawn in. Then the description of the video gave me even more intrigue. Then I watched the video and was absolutely loving this guy. He has some balls and some brains. Just watch.