ZOMBIES: The Undead Menace

A month or so ago on Xbox LIVE, myself, Josh White, and other friends of mine played a series of infection matches on Halo 3. If you are not familiar with this it is a free-for-all type of game where there are basically two types of players. Humans and Zombies. The objective for a human player is very simple: survive by any means necessary. With zombies it is even more simplistic: kill (eat) humans. The winner is the individual who has the most kills, by either eating humans' brains or by slaying the undead. Anyway, after I finished playing I caught my self actually imaging scenario's of a zombie outbreak and strategies used to combat these freaks of nature. The more I thought of it the more important this issue became to me. And under recent years it has become apparent that people should be prepared for a zombie attack and develop a “Zombie Plan” . Now you're probably saying “omg this kid's and IDIOT”, but hear me out.

THE THREAT

Over the last centuries, sciences in medicine have been improving. Ideas of cloning and regrowing dead cells were seen as impossible as recent as 20-30 years ago. Now, humankind is on the doorstep of “playing God”. But if you will also notice is that diseases have also developed. Cancer was unheard of until the 1980s. A disease that takes cells in your body and makes them useless, if not harmful to your body. What's to say that something like cancer, won't kill off non-essential cells like nerves or the parts of your brain which allow you to think rationally? Drastically changing the human being from the sophisticated being that we are, into a non-intelligent, cannibalistic animal. If we can take precautions on something as insignificant as infections from mosquitoes, we can certainly ready ourselves for a mind-controlling tumor.

I'm not the only one who also believes we need to be ready. On April 6, 2008, Wesley Wyndham-Price addressed the City Creek Municipal Council in Georgia on the importance of preparing the city of a possible zombie attack. He pointed out that large populated areas like shopping malls and interstate highways need protection from undead as they will be the first places to be hit from an invasion of zombies. Convinced, councilman Luke Garott declared that he would forward the zombie recommendation to the appropriate emergency committee to ready them selves to combat the possible disaster.

THE PLAN

So to keep yourself safe from zombies follow these steps:

1. Stock up on everything. Food, fuel, weapons, etc... Basically gather all the resources you possibly can, and put them in a safe place where they can't be stolen when panic breaks out and people steal everything that isn't tied down. If you are unable to get a firearm it's still okay. Hand tools and baseball bats are effective deterrents. However, you will be faced with more close-combat situations then that of someone who can blast the zombies from a distance. Just remember everything is a weapon, but some are better than others.
2. Plan your escape. Have a map handy to layout a path to follow which should lead you away from any large populations. Anticipate problems beforehand and make multiple escape routes. Stay away from highways and stick to back country roads. Again the further you are from large populated areas the better.
3. Build a camp. Pick a location that is easily defendable where few can fight many and win. Think 300. Tight, narrow areas where large numbers mean nothing. Caves, ridges, tunnels, all of these are decent places. However, fighting is something that is best avoided. In many cases you cannot win against a limitless army that feels no pain. As well as being defendable. Your camp must be well hidden from the senses of observation. Sight, sound, and smell are all sections of staying hidden that you might want to protect your camp against. If they can't find you, they can't eat you.
4. The most crucial part of planning. Get teammates. The more people your “team” has, the more chance you have at surviving as a whole. More people = more guns shooting at zombies. Just as well, the more people you have, the less chance of you getting eaten by a zombie, because someone else probably will. It's cynical, but it's the truth.
5. If you are ever put into the situation where you will have to have to combat a zombie, keep these necessary tidbits in mind:

• Keep your eyes on the zombie. Watch for it's intent an see how it will attack you. Just because it's a zombie doesn't mean it's predictable.
• Go for the head. Like humans, the most efficient way to kill a zombie to BLOW IT'S FUCKING HEAD OFF!!! with no brain to control the body, it becomes dead weight and poses no threat to anyone. shooting it anywhere else will only slow it down temporarily. Doing so is just fucking pointless.
• Keep your distance. If you don't have to fight it in hand-to-hand combat, don't. Just shoot it from afar. This also prevents zombie blood from getting on you. If a single drop touches any cell on your body, you better just put a shotgun to your head and pull the trigger. So it's imperative to keep away from a zombie.
• Weapons. Go for something with good stopping power, like a high powered rifle or shotgun. If you cannot find any, blunt hand weapons like a hammer or crowbar are good. Just be careful when using them, close combat is always dangerous with zombies.

So in conclusion. Don't laugh because it can happen, anything is possible in today's modern science and society. When it happens, get resources, get out, get a camp, get teammates, get em' dead. Zombies will indisputably have the element of surprise as well as numbers on their size. Millions of people will die, and it will be a dark age for humanity. But if you're smart, capable, and ready. The legions of the undead will be no match for you. Remember.....GET A PLAN!

-Reid Miller