Various Updates

HELLO EVERYBODY!!!

Heres the skinny: it was my birthday recently ago. Thanks everyone for wishing me a good closer to death day. Today also happens to be valentines day! I love you all! Isaac's birthday is also coming up. More updates on that later, but this whole month is chock full of events!

Anyways, tomorrow night will be fun. We will be jamming some more, working on songs and stuff, and I am looking forward to it extremely. And then the next day will be fun, and I'll be able to test out that engrish mic I bought from "The Buy Store". I also saw a pair of Zildjian hi-hats on for 50 bucks. I would've picked them up at the time, but I needed cash for other stuff. That night, I also acquired a nice suede jacket from Valu Village, and Diablo 2 from Futureshop. What a night.
I'm mostly just writing this post for pleasure, but thats okay, cause I don't think too many people will be reading it. I figured since I made an obligation in English class to write more on the blog to start thinking about things, I must as well go through with it and make an effort. So, expect to see more personal thoughts from the mind of Matt!!!!

Another event of note: the ford plant show last weekend. Simply amazing. There were 5 bands I believe, each of them unique and excellent. The first act was Spymachine 16 if I recall correctly, which I probably do not. Spymachine 16 is this indie pop band from the Guelph scene, with a great singer who spit on me frequently, since I was in the front row. We all bought their album.

Up next, we had Mariposa. They were a little more laid back, and since we were all psyched for more dancing and grooving from Spymachine 16, they weren't as good as they could've been that night. Of course, if I listened to them while in an easygoing mood, I'm sure I would have loved them. Great show nonetheless by them.

Furthermore, we get into the Toronto bands. The Miles played, and was just so... CRAZY. I danced until I couldn't bear to dance any more, but I did anyways cause I am stupid. It was during this set that I realized my hair has grown to an acceptable head banging length, where it actually flies from my head. Awesome! But yeah, The Miles was nuts. They had a very unique sound, which may have even inspired (!) me. What was especially "indie" about them was that they were giving out free burnt CDs after the show, in newspaper CD slips that the lead singer made that very morning out of a Brantford newspaper, if I am not mistaken. Very cool.

Now, for the main course. Spiral Beach, who we saw before around Halloween and instantly fell in love with. They were all set up. There was much murmuring in the main room. Suddenly, the lead guitarist (Airick Woodhead) yelled "Follow me, everyone! FOLLOW ME!", and like the sheep we are, flocked to our shepherd. Airick led us into the foyer I guess you could call it, and started playing a mournful song on the rickety, out of tune piano. The dummer (Daniel Woodhead) came in with a megaphone, hopped up on top of the piano, and started singing to the song. The keyboardist from The Miles (I think it was the keyboardist, I cant remember) started walking in with a chain, and dropping it to the beat. It was a surreal experience. Suddenly, Airick yelled "LETS GO! TIME TO GET THE SHOW STARTED!". That was paraphrased, but we all trampled each other to get to the main room.

The entrance was terrific. Could their show keep up the level of excellence being thrust into our ears and minds? The answer: TO COME! They got on their instruments, and began to play the SAME TUNE as in the foyer! Oh man, YES! Unfortunately, the keyboardist's (Maddy Wilde) keyboards had some technical trouble of the type I didn't quite catch, so it lowered the experience slightly. But the entire show was spectacular. Highlights included Indie Lobster showing gangster drunk guys the door, and showing everyone his special hand movements. We love you, Indie Lobster, wherever you are. Other special moments include the drummer from The Miles launching himself off of Reggie's shoulder, and the same drummer and I singing "Made Of Stone" to each other's faces. Awesome.

After that set, just when you thought NOTHING could match that experience, I went and got an excellent burger from The Imperial. I'm sorry everyone, but I was hungry in a moment of weakness. And trust me, I did not appreciate the burger the day after. My bowels whined in anguish, but thats a story to be told privately! Anyways, that burger was delicious, and I ate it while waiting for Easy Meat (hah!) to set up. This Zappa cover band was the most intricate large group I have ever seen. Composed of three men, one with an awesome giant beard. Their drumset was probably worth every drumset that has came through the ford plant EVER. Except Peter Katz, who's drummer had an electronic set in addition to acoustic. But he doesn't count. Anyways, we stayed for a few songs, when TJ and Isaac got whiny and wanted to leave. So we did.

And that was the Ford Plant visit.

OH! Another thing. Today at lunch, Rob and Reggie made an entrance to the outside, and I faked getting angry at Rob and ran at him, spewing threats. Reggie intervened, and picked me up in a bearhug or something. He started to push me to the wall, but I put both feet up, planted them on the bricks, and PUSHED. PUSHED. And ZING, I went flying over Reggie, he fell, and I executed an incidental, unintentional diving headbutt into Kim. Fortunately, she saved the cupcakes she was holding, but my neck CRACKED backwards, and I am still feeling the pain. Totally worth it though. There was quite a bit of brawling today too, as Isaac was feeling rowdy.

Furthermore: Today we went to bread.

A False Moon: A Novella

Ted looked over his fields - beets weren't selling this year, but that was alright. He still had plenty of cash left over from last years crop. Beets never sold anyways, the real money was in corn.

Never before had Ted seen such a summer with such a terrible drought. The old Robinson farm practically dried up, and it was only with a new watering system that Ted stayed in the black. He was also considering completely switching to a hydroponic farm, and grow exclusively lettuce, but his son, Simon, would never go for that. Simon enjoyed the simple pleasures of walking through the rows of tall stalks of corn, or the enjoyment wrought from plucking carrots from their rooty hibernations.

Ted walked to his truck, hopped in, and started it up. He made sure his foot was on the pedals this time, because on more than one occasion he was trying to accelerate on an old tissue box. The old farmer drove into town to pick up some seeds for Simon's science fair project. Simon planned on growing beans, and then showing the effects of mashing them into coffee. Simon always had a knack for finding things no one would think were good, but made them great.

Ted reached the store, and ran his fingers through his long mullet. He donned a pair of sunglasses, and grabbed his 12 gauge shotgun from the back of his truck. Calmly, he strode into the shop, and sidled up to the cashier.

"You're going to do what I want you to do, or else this may get very unpleasant." Ted brandished his gun to the young female cashier. She nodded, and tears began to stream down her face. She had seen this on the news last night. An old man with a mullet and sunglasses would rob stores for, of all things, bean seeds.

"You know what I want, right, hun? The seeds. I need the seeds."

The cashier handed him a bag of seeds, just as two police cruisers pulled up into the parking lot.

Constable Herkins was no fool to agrorobbery. He had seen a lot of cases in his time, and they never ended up pretty. He advised his comrade, Lieutenant Donald to go in through the back door, for a sneak attack.

Ted knew this wasn't going to end pretty. He climbed the ladder onto the roof, and took position behind a cooling vent. He had trained for months.

He was prepared for this.

Herkins threw a flashbang onto the roof, instantly blinding Ted. Donald climbed the ladder while Ted stay there as silently as possible, waiting out the effects of the deafening grenade. Donald leapt around a corner, and dropkicked Ted right in the face. The effects wore off Ted, and he sprung up with an uppercut to Donald's jaw. Donald became quite disoriented, and fell off the roof onto a conveniently placed picket fence, which had been sharpened earlier that day.

Herkins heard the death wail of Donald. He wept a little behind his aviator goggles, but he knew he had to stay strong.

Ted ran to the helicopter, and instructed the pilot to start it immediately. Herkins anticipated this with a bribe to the helicopter pilot, who was told to fly to the secret police station in the mountains. Herkins knew that the pilot would double cross him. He had a gut feeling.

The constable sprinted to the trunk of his cruiser where he kept a little something for a special occasion such as this. A laser-guided RPGRGPPRGPGPR. He assembled it in no time at all, took aim, and fired.

A giant explosion lit up the night sky, and the helicopter careened into the ground with an earth-shaking roar. Herkins turned around, and a pair of sunglasses fell at his feet.

"Ted...perhaps in another life, I could've called you friend," Herkins silently whispered silently into the warm summer wind. He picked up the remains of his dead cop buddy, and called it a night.

BREAKING NEWS!!

AMY FINALLY WON AT SOLITAIRE!!